Wednesday, 3 September 2014

HOW TO BE A CELEB IN NIGERIA

By Kunle Afolayan




Good morning!!!! Being a celebrity in Naija!! Rules of Engagement.

1. You must be a mobile ATM at all times. Very applicable to the following (Police, Customs and Immigration officers) at check points, airports and borders as well as area boys.*Fly* *run*



 2. You must never have personal problems, only solve people’s problems. Including buying breakfast for strange figures ‘ boys must chop.’

 3. You must never have moods. It’s forbidden, you are not human remember? =-s *SUSPICIOUS**Brrrr*

4.You must never have an opinion. It’s not permitted. Else you incur the people’s wrath.=-( =-d

5. You must be ready to receive insults on social media platforms especially from annoying anonymous persons.>=-o ~=-) and also be ready to be impersonated on Facebook with as many pages. Miscreants ripping innocent people off in your name.

6. You must never have a life.

7. You must be ready to overlook and endure everything, even if it’s to your detriment.=-/ After all you are a’Celeb’=-s

8. Be ready to pay your fans for seeing your movies or listening to your music. You are everyone’s fan! Ever been told ‘you are my biggest fans oo I dey watch your film oo make you settle. hmmnn if I’m your fan I wonder what you are to me?=-o =]y Well just follow these eight simple guidelines and you can never go wrong. Remember that’s the Price for fame.\=d/ NOW THATS THE STORY OF MY LIFE!!!!...

Culled from:Thenet.ng

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